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Thursday, May 22nd, 2008 05:06 pm
I thought folks might be interested in what constitutes a drabble lifecycle (per my Muses). ^_~ This is everything from the first rough down to the final, plus all the notes in which I poke and prod at the idea until I get it into something I like.

NOTE: This actually took 2-3 days, but I figured I'd just keep updating the original post, to keep it all together. ^_^ (And, of course, I missed the prompt window, so I'm not sure where/if to post it now *sighs*)

[livejournal.com profile] hp100 : Challenge: Drip

Notes to self: Drip, water, faucet, current, oceans, feh. Maybe something about the transition from muggle to wizard? Sort of like moving from a bathtub into white water rapids, ne? Better than pulling on the 'unchanging tides' analogy again. Darn but I overuse that one. *sighs* So, hrm, need a mudblood and I guess Hermione will do, then again, no clue how much warning she had. Heck, Harry didn't find out until he got the letter, but Hermione seemed so prepped for school. Maybe crash course in summer reading? after all, I did get summer assignments when I went from junior high to high school. Hrm. Wish I had the books to check against... darn, nothing useful on the Lexicon.

Well, let's run with the idea that she had a bit of a warning, we can always canon check later (or OC her, worse case scenario).

First Rough - 135 words

It's one thing to have been born a wizard in a wizarding family, and quite another to have been born to muggle parents and grown up in a muggle world. Most children stumbled from one world to another, having stepped from wading pools into deepwater tides, but not Hermione. Because she'd read --she'd always read-- anything and everything she came across, she knew just how much her world was changing.

So she did what she always did when she felt out of place, out of depth, she read. Fairy tales, folk tales, legends, myths... simple superstitions given new depth, new weight. She soaked in as much as she could, hording every scrap of information, every drop of knowledge, determined to protect herself and her family.

Because she knew what was waiting in the dark.

Notes to self: Rough idea down, too long (as always), kill passive voices, needs stronger water imagery, cutcutcut! Otherwise, not bad stab at it, might be able to fit the prompt. *pokes*

Second Rough - 118 words

It's one thing to be born a wizard in a wizarding family, quite another to have muggle parents and a muggle world. Most children stumbled from one existence to another, stepping from wading pools into deepwater tides, but not Hermione. Because she'd read --she'd always read-- she knew just how much her world was changing.

She did what she always did when she felt out of place, out of depth, she read. Fairy tales, folk tales, legends, myths... simple superstitions given new depth, new weight. She soaked in as much as she could, hording every scrap of information, every drop of knowledge, determined to protect her family, her friends.

Because she knew what was waiting in the dark...

Notes to Self: Need to cut another twenty or so, water words: wading, pools, deepwater, tides, depth, depth, soaked, drop, hmm, maybe shouldn't use depth twice. *pokes* Twenty words, cutcutcut...

Third Rough - 108 words

It's one thing to be born a wizard in a wizarding family, quite another to have muggle parents and a muggle world. Most children stumbled from one existence to another, stepping from wading pools into deepwater tides, but not Hermione. Because she'd read --she'd always read-- she knew just how much her world was changing.

Out of place, out of depth, she read to stay afloat. Fairy tales, folk tales, legends, myths... simple superstitions given new depth, new weight. She soaked it in, hording every scrap of information, every drop of knowledge, determined to protect her family, her friends.

Because she knew what was waiting in the dark...

Notes to Self: Closer, but not quite... arg. Break it down now, better look at it by sentence at this point. Too many 'babies' in this one. *huggles line 5* Hate it when I do that. :P

1. It's one thing to be born a wizard in a wizarding family, quite another to have muggle parents and a muggle world.
2. Most children stumbled from one existence to another, stepping from wading pools into deepwater tides, but not Hermione.
3. Because she'd read --she'd always read-- she knew just how much her world was changing.
4. Out of place, out of depth, she read to stay afloat.
5. Fairy tales, folk tales, legends, myths... simple superstitions given new depth, new weight.
6. She soaked it in, hording every scrap of information, every drop of knowledge, determined to protect her family, her friends.
7. Because she knew what was waiting in the dark...

Too much of a jump from 3 to 4, also too much repetition of 'reading'. 3 needs rework. Can tighten 7? Hrm... Five takes a lot of words to say the same thing over and over.

Soo... *fiddles a bit* Let's scatter the muggle definitions in with the rest, try and pull out some of the repetition (and pull down the word count). And pull out the italics since I'll be using them for the muggle stuff...

Fourth Rough - 100 words (yay!)

It's one thing to be born a wizard in a wizarding family, quite another to have muggle parents and a muggle world. --only fairy tales-- Most children stumbled from one existence to another, stepping from wading pools into deepwater tides, but not Hermione. She knew --folk tales-- just how much her world was changing. --legends--

Out of place, out of depth, she read to stay afloat. --just myths-- Soaking it in, hording every scrap of information, every drop of knowledge, determined to protect her family, her friends.

Because she knew what was waiting in the dark...


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HARRY POTTER is trademark and copyright JK Rowling, her publisher Bloomsbury, and, to some extent, Warner Bros. All rights reserved. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.
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